23 Rules for Manliness in 2023

Published by PolisPandit on December 19, 2022December 19, 2022

To all the bros who worship at the altar of Joe Rogan, Jordan Peterson, and Elon Musk, these 23 rules for manliness in 2023 are primarily for you. To everyone else, take from this list what you wish.  

You might ask: “Johnny, what inspired these rules for manliness?”

In 2022, I dove into the deep end of the male influencer world. I listened to countless podcast episodes from Joe Rogan, Jordan Peterson, Lex Fridman, and even (ugh) Ben Shapiro.  I followed Liver King on TikTok until I realized he was just trying to sell me supplements and protein powder while he injected himself with steroids in private. 

Social media algorithms clearly saw what I was doing and adapted accordingly.  Soon I was inundated with shirtless guys in grocery stores screaming about the dangers of seed oil. Personal finance and lifestyle gurus like Alex Hormozi told me not to read books because they were a waste of time.  Andrew Tate wanted me to enroll in his Hustlers University.

The deep end of the male influencer economy is filled with toxic garbage that impressionable men – young and old – can waste their time wading through.  And that’s the best case scenario.  Too much of this content can warp the worldview of even the most steadfast of minds.

In 2023, men need to return to the basics.  A balance of consumption, if you will.  Consume male influencer content if you must, but also consider implementing the following 23 rules.  

As a mid-30s married guy with a 19-month-old son, I can assure you there’s no secret sauce or shortcuts to success (however you define it) and no idyllic form of manliness. But there are key elements for being a good, well-rounded person.  That’s what these 23 rules are designed to achieve.

1. Read books.  Audio books work too.  There are great recommendations in The Book Cafe publication where I often write. Just stop spending most of your time listening to rambling podcasts.  Books give context that even the best long form podcasts can’t match. 
2. Read more history and fiction.  History will teach you about the past, which we never seem to learn sufficiently.  Fiction will teach you empathy, which everyone needs more of in this world.  Especially men.
3. Eat like a normal human.  Stop modeling your diet off the Liver King.  Don’t listen to the guy who hates seed oil on TikTok.  And definitely don’t try to match the all beef eating habits of Jordan Peterson.  Consume a balanced diet with few extremes and most of you will be just fine.
4. Cook. Real men know how to chef up a good meal. Your family will thank you. During the pandemic I was really missing Chinese food, so I learned how to make it. My wife bought me Fuchsia Dunlop’s book and I learned about the magic of fermented black beans and so much more.  Now it’s therapeutic, not to mention a new form of expression.
5. Practice basic social etiquette.  Maybe we all spent too much time in lockdown, but men in particular suck in this area.  Shake hands firmly, look people in the eyes when speaking with them, hold doors open for the ladies, and make small talk even when you think it’s not worth your time.  Be a human and try to be interested in other people.  You might just learn something, not only about them, but yourself.
6. Exercise regularly, but don’t kill yourself.  You don’t need to look like The Rock or the Liver King in order to be healthy.  Their bodies are fake and filled with steroids. Simple stretching and some cardio for a few minutes a day is all most people need. If you sit for long periods, make a conscious effort to move more at regular intervals.

7. If you’re single, focus on improving yourself. I’m not saying you’re doing anything wrong. Maybe you like being a bachelor. But if you do want a partner, do what you can control. Your appearance, lifestyle, and routines. Don’t blame others or society for any of your woes because there is so much you can control for yourself. 
8. Invest, but question everything and everyone. Don’t put your money somewhere just because someone like Alex Hormozi told you to. Multiple male influencers were just indicted for pump and dump schemes. There are many more who probably should be as well. For most people, simply investing a little each paycheck in index funds that track major benchmarks like the S&P 500 is sufficient (and will beat most advisers over the long term). But don’t take my advice as gospel either. Look at the data for yourself.
9. Scrutinize any promoted product. Whether it’s Kevin O’Leary promoting FTX or Lex Fridman chugging Athletic Greens, do your own research before buying or using a product by getting information from multiple sources.
10. Consume news media, but act as your own editor. Surprise! The 21st century media landscape is filled with landmines, biases, misinformation, and disinformation. Even from the New York Times and The Wall Street Journal. Find multiple sources you trust from various political perspectives, and always be on the hunt for countervailing opinions that challenge your own biases or ideology.  
11. You don’t need to know every story. Take a news break every once in a while.  Go back to Rule #1 and read a goddamn book.  Exercise.  Spend time with family.  Tune out.  
12. Take social media breaks. In addition to news breaks, allocate only certain parts of your day for social media consumption. And try to avoid it at all costs at least 30 minutes before bed (easier said than done!). You don’t need a bunch of Twitter trolls ushering you to sleep.  

13. Get out in nature. I once heard Tim Cook, the Apple CEO, say that while he has an awful work-life balance, getting outside at least once per day is like a palate cleanser for the mind. If you’re in the city, find some green space and just walk or sit. As humans, nature is our natural environment, not concrete jungles and definitely not suburbia. 
14. Ignore hustle culture. Do what stirs passion in you. Ignore the proliferation of side hustle content, get-rich-quick schemes, or anything coming out of Andrew Tate’s mouth.  Oftentimes the people making that content are using YOU as their side hustle (they don’t actually do what they’re recommending – i.e., their side hustle is to make content about side hustles). 
15. Journal. Yes, that’s a verb. I journal every night before bed. At least I try. This is a way to reflect on what’s going on, write down goals, and hold myself accountable. Also, it provides a forum to practice gratitude. Many of us are too self-absorbed to realize we have pretty good lives and should be thankful.  
16. Travel outside your comfort zone. Stop living in a bubble and echo chamber. Branch out and challenge yourself to explore places outside your comfort zone. For me, and hold back the laughs, that’s the American south. The real south, not Miami. I’ve been everywhere in America, but the Bible Belt has eluded me. So that’s a goal in the new year: to shed my New York City-centric mentality and head south with an open mind. 
17. Find new inspirations who actually create things. One of my best finds of 2022 was Sam Kolder.  I bought a camera and started multiple YouTube channels.  One to document travel and lifestyle, and another to discuss law and politics.  Many of the other aforementioned male influencers just talk.  They don’t actually create anything apart from their own (often random) thoughts.  

18. Clean up your physical life. You don’t need to be one of those crazy cleaning influencers on social media, but organization is the first step to success. If you are not clean and organized, don’t expect the rest of your life to be either.
19. Clean up your digital life. Organize your emails in folders. Organize your computer files in folders. Delete photos you don’t want or need. Move extraneous stuff to external harddrives. Same principles should apply to your digital life as they do to your physical.   
20. Laugh once per day. Too many of you guys are way too serious. I’m at fault for it too. Do something – at least once per day – that will make you smile and laugh, even if it’s just watching your favorite stand-up comic for a few minutes. You will feel much better and probably treat people better too.
21. Call your mom. The same rule applies to family in general. Dedicate sizable parts of your day to spend with family. This gets back to gratitude. If you’re lucky enough to have a good family, you damn well better be thankful everyday.  
22. Water your friendship plants, but only a few. As you get older – past the age of 30 – you should have fewer, but closer friends. Water the ones you want to keep. Give them attention, and discard the ones who don’t reciprocate. Life is too short.
23. Cherish every day. You don’t know which one will be your last.