American society is failing its young men. They are suffering from loneliness, rates of suicide, and drug overdoses that are disproportionate to women. Many (ages 18-34) still live in their parent’s home. They are also less likely to graduate from high school and attend or graduate from college compared to young girls.

Yet almost nobody in modern culture talks about it. 

Scott Galloway is probably the most prominent contemporary voice of empathy towards young men. But he’s basically alone, yelling into an online void dominated by toxic masculinity. 

“Our young men are failing, and we are failing them.” – Scott Galloway

The big problem: toxic masculinity sells. I wrote 23 rules for manliness over a year ago, and it didn’t attract nearly the attention Andrew Tate commands with his misogynistic and hateful drivel.  

Tate is the leader of the toxic masculinity movement. He regularly promotes hateful and misogynistic views to his over 9 million X followers alone, many of them young men. 

It’s easy for lost young men to gravitate towards “role models” like Tate when they hear his pitch that the game is rigged against them while they feel increasingly isolated from the world. Soon they enroll in his course, Hustlers University, and the grift is on.    

Slightly more thoughtful young men turn to Joe Rogan. Or Jordan Peterson. Or a handful of other male influencers (Andrew Huberman!) who generally have narrow views of the world filled with oversimplifications, conspiracy theories, and/or hateful thinking. 

Young men today need better role models. But most of all, they need society to care about them more. 

We don’t talk about the increasingly concerning societal metrics, including how young men are responsible for most violent crimes because there’s a general sentiment that guys are supposed to be tough. 

Young men should be able to figure it out themselves, right? 

If we want a society filled with graduates of Hustlers University, maybe that’s a viable solution. But if we want our young men to have empathy, to act loving and caring towards their partners and families, and to be productive members of society, then we need to stop ignoring them. 

Young men are not alright. Here are some ideas to change the conversation and improve their lives. By doing so, we’ll improve society as a whole. 

Better male influencers  

We need better male influencers on social media. The current big accounts range from Jordan Peterson, who spews garbage like “The idea that women were oppressed throughout history is an appalling theory”, to Joe Rogan who has caused numerous controversies related to racial slurs, antisemitism, and COVID-19 misinformation (to name a few). 

Millions of young men (and others) follow these guys. And while I appreciate basic advice like “make your bed” from the likes of Peterson, most of their advice is damaging and even dangerous. 

Instead of blaming the young men who radicalize themselves in isolation, influencers like Peterson blame society and women. 

“Violent attacks are what happens when men do not have partners . . . The cure for that is enforced monogamy. That’s actually why monogamy emerges.” – Jordan Peterson

Enforced monogamy? Why not encourage lost young men to improve themselves so they’re more acceptable to potential mates? It might work better than the government forcing marriage on two (potentially unwilling) participants.   

The problem is there are few alternatives for lost young men. There are almost no male influencers who talk about empathy, love, women, and other life topics in positive ways. 

The negative blame game has made influencers like Jordan Peterson and Andrew Tate fabulously rich. Young men consume their content because they hear they’re not the problem. It’s society’s fault. It’s women’s fault. 

We need more Scott Galloways. Hell, I’ll even take more of this TikTok lumberjack who sells non-toxic masculinity candles.       

Too many guys go into money, entrepreneurship, and crypto bro niches. There’s no incentive to be introspective. It’s vulnerable and doesn’t sell as well as the outrage sold by Peterson and Tate.  

But that doesn’t mean men shouldn’t try. Scott Galloway has been successful. And if someone can find creative ways for young men to better their own lives, the audience may come. There’s a huge demographic in need. 

The government should play a role too. 

Young men need more government support

Public school classrooms put young men at an immediate disadvantage. Not only does the female brain develop faster than the male one, but young women are more predisposed to sit and focus for longer periods. Young men, by contrast, are generally more active, energetic, and unwilling to sit still. 

Instead of channeling this energy through vocational courses like woodshop and auto shop, many schools have removed those programs.

We have new generations of young men who didn’t grow up in the analog world and have been raised digitally online. Decades ago they may have channeled their energy through labor or building or fixing something tangible. But now many young men do not receive basic education like how to change a tire, fix a toilet, or as “The Spirited Man” describes here, how to reattach a bike chain. 

Beyond tailored educational programs for young men (and women), overall public spending on childhood education in the U.S. is abysmal compared to other countries (ranks 14th in spending on elementary education as a percentage of GDP). The U.S. government spends a disproportionately higher amount on its older populations through social security, medicare, and the like than it does on its future generations.

We are failing young people.

Decades ago a young man or woman could work their way through college and graduate with only a little debt (in the worst case). It’s impossible with the costs of education relative to salaries today. 

Regardless of the Biden Administration’s efforts to forgive certain student loans, it’s still a complete racket. Interest rates are disproportionately higher than other government-backed loans, and young people have to pay them off or die to escape them. Bankruptcy is never an option.   

After-school programs have similar problems. They are barely subsidized in America (compared to the rest of the world), which strains working families to pay for more childcare. It forces both parents into full-time jobs in many cases, compromising their ability to see (let alone parent) their children. 

No wonder we’re forecasting lower population growth in America. The world is simply too expensive to have children. If we want more (and better) young men and women, we’ll need to pay for them. Expanding the child tax credit is a good place to start. 

Once young men are ready to enter the workforce, they have limited options beyond traditional career paths that require at least a college degree. The Biden Administration has done good work around apprenticeships and creating a quality pipeline for trained vocational professionals to get good jobs. But America still trails the rest of the world in apprenticeship culture. 

Too many men in my millennial generation were encouraged to go to four year universities when they would have been better off as plumbers, electricians, or other tradesmen. Unless young men know someone or have a dad they can apprentice under, there’s no clear path to acquiring the requisite skills and developing a marketable specialty. And plumbers can make bank!   

The U.S. government needs to do more to help its young people, especially its (increasingly radicalized) young men. 

We need more mentorship programs for young men

While vocational training and professional skills are helpful, we need to educate the whole person. In the case of young men, that includes how they treat others (especially women) and develop a worldview. Without mentors, many young men get lost down the social media extremist rabbit hole.

Many of these extremists label anyone taking an interest in mentoring young men as a groomer. Or as Elon Musk falsely called someone trying to save children trapped in a Thailand cave – a pedo. 

The Catholic Church hasn’t helped either. 

So many older, wiser, and more experienced men may not be incentivized to mentor, coach, and train the next generation. Especially if those young men are not their sons.

We need more older men to take an interest in mentorship. Periodic check-ins. Discussions. It doesn’t have to be much. 

I was fortunate not only to have a great father who showed me how to act by example, but early in my legal career I had multiple experienced attorneys take an interest in mentoring me. Those examples and interactions had huge benefits for not only my career but my life. They taught me the value of hard work, treating others well, and being respectful to women. 

I was lucky. Many young men do not have natural role models, which is why mentorship needs to be more ingrained in American culture. If you’re an older and wiser man, consider mentoring a couple of young men per year. It could make a huge difference in their lives. 

Improving the lives of young men creates a healthy democracy and society   

Few things are more dangerous than a society awash with guns, hateful social media rhetoric, and an increasing number of disgruntled young men. It’s a recipe for violence, mass shootings, and overall chaos. 

It’s no secret why someone like Donald Trump is an attractive option for some of these young men because he takes the Jordan Peterson approach – he demonizes other groups (immigrants) while reminding the (white) men “it’s not your fault.” Unfortunately, this message resonates with a lot of people. 

There’s a reason almost 90% of those charged for the January 6th assault on the U.S. Capitol were men. 

When young men feel isolated and abandoned by society, it’s refreshing for them to hear that their problems are not self-induced or self-inflicted. Someone else caused them, whether the blame is cast on immigrants or the boogeyman deep state.  

These messages and feelings are the early drumbeats on the march to fascism. They are the types of messages despots and autocrats have used for decades to convince people to trust an all-powerful state to rid society of its perceived ills. Maybe even force monogamy on people, as Jordan Peterson has suggested.  

By simply recognizing the young men epidemic we can avoid many of these problems. We need more open dialogue to counter the misogyny, demonization of minorities, and toxic masculinity. We need more government support for young men and more mentors willing to show them the way. 

More focus on this growing problem will not only develop better young men, but a better society as a whole. Men are supposed to be the protectors and guardians of society, but they can’t serve any useful role if their lives are consumed with hate, conspiracy theories, and negative opinions about women.  

American society is failing its young men. The first step is simply recognizing the problem.