Beyond Fine Dining: Unleash Unreasonable Hospitality in Everyday Life
People will never forget how you make them feel. That inspiring idea has driven Will Guidara, author of Unreasonable Hospitality, throughout his career.
It deeply resonated with me after reading his book.
I am not in the fine dining industry, but I am a regular patron, as described here and here. The greatest part about Unreasonable Hospitality, however, is that its lessons and stories are applicable beyond the fine dining world. They extend even beyond the business world.
They apply to everyday life.
Whether it’s being more unreasonably attentive and thoughtful to people at work. Loved ones in your personal life. Friends.
Whether it’s extending charitable assumption to someone treating you badly. After all, it’s impossible to know what everyone is going through no matter how rude or unreasonable they’re behaving.
The concept of unreasonable hospitality is powerful. Its broad application makes this book a useful guide for anyone trying to navigate business and life in general.
What makes “Unreasonable Hospitality” so unreasonable?
Bespoke surprises that may sound crazy in isolation. Like paying a diner’s parking meter so they can enjoy dessert without rushing.
Understanding the power of a genuine welcome. Perhaps you researched your guests in advance and tailored your greeting to their interests and preferences.
Going above and beyond. You overheard diners worrying about the celebratory champagne left in their home freezer, which they only intended to chill quickly. Offer to send someone to remove it right away.
What may seem “unreasonable” to some qualifies as quality service to Guidara. What’s more, it can be applied to all industries and people, from CEOs to the most junior employees.
Guidara describes how to apply it through anecdotes and lessons learned throughout his entire career. The book is very autobiographical, but that’s helpful because the reader can appreciate the evolution of Guidara as he rises to the top of the hospitality industry.
From hospitality student to hospitality master
In Unreasonable Hospitality, Guidara details his meteoric rise from Cornell’s hospitality program and the rigors of Danny Meyer’s restaurant empire to the pinnacle of the fine dining world at Eleven Madison Park.
He describes the strategies employed by himself and Eleven Madison Park co-owner Daniel Humm that brought the restaurant from one of the best to the very best in the world. In just a few short years, Eleven Madison Park skyrocketed to rank as the best restaurant in the world in 2017 (the rules prohibit any restaurant from winning this status twice).
Eleven Madison Park has held three Michelin stars since 2012. It has retained those stars even after Guidara’s split with Humm in 2019, and even after Humm’s pivot to an all-vegan menu, which we recently experienced and described in this video.
My biggest critique of our dining experience? No bespoke surprises. No unreasonable hospitality.
That’s not to say Humm still doesn’t practice it. But I was surprised there wasn’t even an amuse-bouche or something specifically tailored to our table.
Because that’s the essence of unreasonable hospitality, as described by Guidara in his book. A unique experience that makes patrons feel special. People never forget those feelings. Simple gestures can go much further than a perfectly executed dish.
Guidara described how he went from hospitality student to hospitality master while channeling Miles Davis along the way. One of the biggest reasons why he leveled up was because he took criticism seriously. When a food critic said that Eleven Madison Park needed more Miles Davis – more endless reinvention and more of a forward-moving mindset – Guidara and Humm studied the famous jazz artist.
Listen to Miles Davis’ early albums, and then listen to his later albums. There’s a remarkable difference. An evolution.
Similarly, look at Eleven Madison Park’s early menus and its approach to hospitality, then look at how they evolved by 2017 when it won the best restaurant in the world crown.
Guidara and Humm were not afraid of change. They were not scared of challenging the fine dining status quo by acting unreasonably at times, both in terms of the menu and the hospitality. They mastered both.
Unreasonable hospitality: make it legendary
One of my favorite parts of the book was Guidara’s creation of the “Legends” program. Whenever Eleven Madison Park staff went above and beyond in curating a guest experience, they would document the story as a “Legend.”
This not only incentivized staff to try even harder to think creatively about their unreasonable hospitality but also celebrated staff who executed their visions well. The more these “Legends” were well-executed, the more Eleven Madison Park was likely to win guests over for life.
It was a genius move to incentivize and recognize members of the team simultaneously.
Guidara tells countless stories about these Legends throughout the book – all illustrating his detailed vision of unreasonable hospitality – but my favorite one was this:
I overheard the four guests crowing about the culinary adventures they’d had in New York: ‘We’ve been everywhere! Daniel, Per Se, Momofuku, now Eleven Madison Park. The only thing we didn’t eat was a street hot dog.’ If you’d been in the dining room that day, you’d have seen an animated bulb appear over my head, like in a cartoon.
I dropped the dirty dishes off in the kitchen and ran out to buy a hot dog from Abraham, who manned the Sabrett’s cart on our corner. Then the hard part: I brought the hot dog back to the kitchen and asked Daniel to plate it. He looked at me like I’d gone crazy. I was always trying to push the boundaries, but serving what New Yorkers call a dirty-water dog at a four-star restaurant? I held my ground and told him to trust me—that it was important to me—and he finally agreed to cut the hot dog into four perfect pieces, adding a swoosh of mustard, a swoosh of ketchup, and perfect quenelles of sauerkraut and relish to each plate.
Be like a swan – appear amazing while your legs work fast
One of the biggest critiques of Guidara’s storytelling is that he uses tropes, adages, and recycled business advice in the repackaged form of this book, Unreasonable Hospitality. These critics argue that there’s nothing truly new to be learned from the book and that it’s not worth the time. For them, readers are better off getting their business advice elsewhere.
It always shocks me to read these takes because how many business books exist that illuminate the culinary world? Most are cookbooks. And even those that do exist were not typically written by the former front-of-the-house head at one of the best restaurants in the world.
Guidara’s experiences are unique. His approach and execution of unreasonable hospitality is unique. Especially because many fine dining restaurants are typically chef-dominated – the kitchen runs the show. What made Eleven Madison Park so special, and what made Guidara and Humm work so well together for so many years, was the balance in their relationship. How the front of the house was on an equal playing field with the kitchen.
It’s also rare that advice specifically written for business applies so well not only beyond the industry it’s written for, but to everyday life as well. And that’s precisely what Unreasonable Hospitality does.
Give people more than they expect in all facets of your life. It doesn’t even need to cost more. It simply requires a little thought and creativity.
Watch your life and relationships blossom.
Unrealistic and unreasonable advice from a “nepo baby”
This is another common critique I’ve read, primarily due to the fact Guidara’s father was in the restaurant industry. These critics also highlight that Guidara had a cushy path through Danny Meyer’s Union Square Hospitality Group and thrived on connections.
Perhaps they missed the part where Eleven Madison Park won best restaurant in the world in 2017? After Guidara had moved out of his father’s house decades prior. After Guidara had bought out Danny Meyer (who previously owned the restaurant), along with his partner Daniel Humm.
Did it help that Guidara had a father who knew the industry he was about to enter? Did it help him get into Cornell’s hospitality program? I’m sure it did.
But how we use the opportunities afforded to us defines who we are. There are plenty of children who benefit from nepotism that do nothing significant or simply keep the trains running on time at the company they inherit. Guidara did neither.
Instead, he partnered with Daniel Humm and turned Eleven Madison Park, which was once a sleepy brasserie, into the best restaurant in the world. As an American, Guidara won over French and other European restaurant critics in a culinary and hospitality game that they often dominate. If someone cannot recognize the self-accomplishment in that feat alone, I have nothing else to say to them.
And the concept of unreasonable hospitality is universal.
Even as the lowest employee on the totem pole, unreasonable hospitality can used be used to impress customers, superiors, and colleagues. They don’t need to cost the company more either. Simple gestures like checking in to see how someone is doing. Actively listening and adapting your actions to what people are saying.
Those efforts all go a long way. Throwing up your hands by saying, “Not all businesses are Eleven Madison Park and can afford to spend lavishly on bespoke surprises”, is a defeatist and lazy attitude. It not only lacks creativity, it refuses to attempt it altogether.
Spend 5% of your budget foolishly
One of Guidara’s guiding principles that he described in the book was the 95/5 rule. Spend 95% of your budget wisely and 5% foolishly.
That 5% is your unreasonable hospitality budget. So for anyone important in your life, allocate minimal resources to curate bespoke surprises for them.
Make them feel special. We can all do it. We will all be better off for it.
For those lessons and more, I recommend reading Unreasonable Hospitality.
The book made me feel wiser and more fulfilled.
People will never forget how you make them feel.
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